Think Christmas

I picked up a free Christmas book at a garage sale this summer that was published in 1970.  I opened it up for the first time last week and it is AWESOME.  I've laughed out loud on numerous occasions and I've only gotten halfway through it.  It has craft projects, gift and decorating ideas, and recipes.  Let me remind you of the year it was published.  1970.  The pictures are drawings and the descriptions are witty.

The best part of the whole book is the introduction.  It's too perfect not to share.

Husbands Can't Win At Christmas Time

by Art Buchwald

     Washington - The American woman is probably the strongest, most sufficient, well-educated and well-balanced woman in the world.  The only thing she is unable to come to grips with is Christmas.

     Mention Christmas to an American wife and she'll immediately panic and start screaming hysterically and clawing the rug.  The holiday season seems to have the same effect on American women as LSD does.

     I think my mistake this year was unknowingly bringing the subject up.

     I came in the living room the other night singing:  "Deck the hall with boughs of holly," and my wife suddenly sat up and said, "My God, I forgot the holly."

     "Of course we need holly," she screamed.  "What are the children going to say if we don't have holly?"

     "They have a tree.  Isn't that enough?"

     "The tree's not tall enough.  I know it's not tall enough.  And the stand's no good.  I should have got a taller tree with a better stand."

     "I'm sure the tree will be just perfect," I said, kicking myself in the ankle.

     "Besides, the children are more concerned with what's under the tree than how high it is."

     "I know I didn't get them enough things," she cried.  "Jennifer has one more present than Connie.  But Connie has a bigger present, so if I got her the same number, Jennifer would feel cheated.  Now Connie will probably feel cheated.  Why didn't I use my head?"

     "IT DOESN'T MAKE any difference," I said, trying not to bite my tongue.  "Here, let's open our Christmas cards.  Now isn't this a beautiful card from Bill and Sarah Lewis?"

     "Oh, my God."  My wife jumped up.  "I forgot to send Bill and Sarah a Christmas card!  I knew I was working from the wrong list."

     "Well, there's no sense crying over spilled eggnog," I chortled.

     "Eggnog?  We have to go to the Trowbridges tomorrow night for eggnog, and I have to get to the hairdressers; and how can I get to the hairdressers if I don't find something for Joel; and I haven't bought anything for my mother, and even if I did I wouldn't be able to get near the post office to mail it; and I've got to buy Mary a present; and I haven't even ordered a turkey yet; and I've got to get to the dressmaker; and I haven't seen the kids in two days; and I haven't done a thing about the house bills and..."

     SHE WAS shaking.

     "It's all right, dear,"  I said, holding her tenderly.  "It will be over in a few days.  You have to be brave and remember that even Christmas goes away."

     "I guess I got carried away,"  she said.

     "It's all right.  Anybody can get carried away.  If you think you're in a state, you should see Kay Evans."

     My wife went white.  "Oh, my God.  We don't have anything for the Evanses."

     I started to bash my head against the wall.

Yes, the crazy spans the ages.

1970 or 2011, we women are NUTS!  

Happy Christmas planning!

Homemade Christmas Cards

STOP

If you are related to me by blood or marriage, please move along.

And that means ANYONE, not just immediate family.

Okay, so technically this isn't a gift, but it is homemade.  My mom has made her Christmas cards every year for as long as I can remember.  When my sister and I were young, I can remember being forced to help.  I swore I'd never take on yet another December to-do that I didn't find to be necessary.  Yeah well, famous last words.  I started making my own about three or four years ago.  Not for everyone on the mailing list, - yet - but I usually pump out about 25 or 30.  

I had planned on doing something completely different from what I actually did, but went with these only for the simple fact that I could make them without having to go to the store. I had everything I needed.  I'll save the other idea for next year.

All you need is blank cards or cardstock, scrapbook paper, paper cutter, scissors and glue.  The paper cutter isn't necessary, but it sure does save some time.

Cut out strips with the paper cutter, or scissors, that are about 1/2-inch wide.

Use your scissors to cut them into shorter lengths and glue them onto your cards to make trees.

Cut out a trunk and whatever shape you'd like for the topper.

Here's ours, and yes, I made the kids help, although, they're still young enough to enjoy it:

Now I need to write in them and get them in the mail!

Thanksgiving

Since I never had the chance to pop in and say Happy Thanksgiving yesterday, I thought I'd poke my head in today with some pictures of our feast.  Dinner was at my aunt's house and my contribution was Cauliflower Gratin, (which I'll share the recipe to in another post), and sugar cookies.

I hope everyone who celebrated, enjoyed the day with their families.

Here's a look at ours:

How did I forget to take a picture of my mom's pies!!??

I had a moment of insanity last night, which led to me leaving the house at 10pm to hit up a couple of the early bird sales.  

I didn't get home until 2:30am.  

I haven't been up that late since pre-kids.

Then The Kid woke me up at 6:30 this morning and I headed out to the stores again.

Yes, insanity.

This mom seriously needs a nap.